


Worthiness

by TheSereneMage



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 19:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3661431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSereneMage/pseuds/TheSereneMage





	Worthiness

     Tyrshan and I walked down the corridor of his home, it was just after Sunset, and though I didn't need to sleep, I was still going to sleep next to him, my lover, Tyrshan. We have been together for three years and Tyrshan had started to act weird. He paused right before the small set of stairs leading to his chambers, taking hold of my arm so he could speak with me.

    “What is it, Tyrshan?” I asked. Tyrshan heaved a heavy sigh "Do you think we can start a family?” he asked. I scoffed and yanked my arm free, looking at him with narrowed eyes before sighing and looking into his bright fel-green eyes.  
  
    "I'm sorry Tyrshan," I murmured "But it isn't possible. I am nothing more than a walking corpse, an unholy abomination, cursed for all eternity…” Tyrshan sighed and hung his head dejectedly. I reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, gaining his attention "Even if it were possible, I wouldn't want to have children as the monster I am..." Tyrshan took hold of my hand and kissed my knuckles "You're no monster..." He assured.  
  
    I shook my head, pulling my hand free, "No, I am a monster...". Tyrshan went to take my hands into his, but I had stepped away "I'm sorry Tyrshan, but you chose the wrong woman to settle down with.” I turned away, pulling aside the gossamer curtain that draped in the doorway leading to the stairs. With a sigh, I looked over my shoulder at him, his expression made my frozen heart almost want to shatter “if I was still alive, then maybe there would be a chance. But sadly, I’m not, I am a renegade undead monster!” I didn’t mean for that to come out so harshly, but It has became hard to control my emotions.

                I heard Tyrshan’s armor shift as he tried to reach for me, but I continued to move out of his reach, walking slowly up the stairs, my head hanging low. I am a monster. I can’t give him the family he desires and I am constantly breaking his heart. He doesn’t deserve to be with someone like me.  
  
******  
  
    How I longed for sleep. Being like I am, sleep was a thing of the past, but how I wished for it. As much as I tried by relaxing and closing my eyes, I only remained there awake. Tyrshan, despite all that I had said to him, slept soundly with his arm draped over my waist, his head on my shoulder. I occasionally caught myself running my fingers through his auburn hair as I traced the designs on his bedroom's ceiling for the thousandth time that night. The sound of Tyrshan's slow beating heart and rhythmic breathing was enough to lull anyone asleep, except me. I sighed and rolled to my side as I waited for the dawn. It would be best if I left. Tyrshan could find someone else to give him the family he craves for. my eyes shifted to the window where a gentle breeze shifted the gossamer cerulean curtains, the bright silver moon shining in the sky. I could hear the distant ocean waves and the soft chirps of crickets. I used to be lulled to sleep by those very sounds when I was alive. How I wished to be lulled to sleep by them again. I groaned softly as I placed a hand over my eyes. The dawn needs to hurry. I can't stand being here anymore!  
    
******  
  
 ' _He doesn't deserve me,_ ' I thought as I trudged along the coast of Eversong Woods, my hood shading my face from the morning light  _'He can do better, I am nothing more than an unholy abomination, a corpse, yet he stays by my side..._ ' I paused and held my arms, my body shaking in grief. I heard the repetitive pattern of feet hitting the ground, the soft, green grass crunching beneath them. I didn't have to look over my shoulder to know who it was. While he slept peacefully, his arms wrapped at my waist, I had laid awake until dawn came around, tormented that I couldn't sleep. I then, when the dawn finally came, I broke myself free and  packed the few items I've always carried and left. But it seems that he can't live with that. Why can't he understand that I'm a poor choice for him? He wants children, I can't give him any. He wants a warm embrace to share, but my body has gone cold. He wants someone to love him with all their heart, but mine is frozen and unmoving. I felt a tear roll down my cheek before it froze.  
  
    ' _Get over yourself,_ ' chided a voice ' _It is obvious that this man loves you, despite what you think. He is willing to sacrifice what he wants the most for someone like you. If you abandon him, you'll be ripping his heart out like the heartless monster you are willing to become!_ ' I flinched when I recognized the vice as my own. All my worries and doubts had blocked it out all this time, but it was the voice of the old Elren, the living Elren. With a heavy sigh, I turned and looked at Tyrshan who was fighting to catch his breath. The idiot over did himself and was on the brink of passing out. He looked at me and stood straight, he still breathed heavily as he still attempted to catch his breath as he walked towards me. I expected him to yell at me or something to make regret leaving him in the early reaches of the dawn. But instead he pulled me in a tight hug. My hood had fallen back, my loose silver hair cascading down as my face was pressed against his breastplate. His fingers combed through my hair as he rested his chin on top my head. He felt his heart rapidly beating against my cheek.  
  
    "What were you thinking?" Tyrshan asked in a soft tone. I remained silent as I let my emotions come forth "If you felt unworthy, you could have told me instead of leaving without a trace," Tyrshan pulled my face away from his breastplate and looked at me, his thumbs caressing my cheeks before planting a kiss on my forehead "Please, if something is bothering you, don't hesitate to talk to me, I wouldn't be able to handle being left by the only person I love..." Those words caused my emotions to overflow, for tears began cascading from my eyes. I was a fool to ever think that he didn't deserve me.  
  
    "Please say something..." Tyrshan pleaded. What was I to say? I was speechless. With much thinking and a heavy sigh, I looked him in the eyes and smiled before resting my cheek against his breastplate once more "I'm sorry," I murmured "let's just go home..." Tyrshan shifted a bit before scooping me up in his arms, carrying me back to our home. That sounded weird to me.  _Our home...  
  
_ ******  
  
Tyrshan and I talked well into the evening. I shared with him everything that had happened in my life the moment Frostmourne pierced my flesh. I told him the horrors I have to live with forever. I told him how I wished that I could sleep peacefully, and each time he would nod and smile and whisper reassuring words. As he ate his dinner, I told him how I wished that I could consume food and drink without it turning to ash in my mouth. I told him how I wished to taste the sweet aroma of the Suntouched Reserve that he drank with his meal and not worry about it becoming sour once it touched my tongue. Tyrshan had taken hold of my hand and brushed my knuckles with his thumb, his expression showing pity for the things I could no longer do. As he cleaned up the dishes from dinner, I played with the water in the basin he used to wash his plate and goblet, sighing that I could not feel the warmth, only the cold ice that radiated around my skin as my hand was submerged. As much as I wanted to run out the door and never come back, I knew that it would only hurt Tyrshan. He told me to tell him when anything bothered me, but I already told him all that had bothered me. He knows I can no longer feel anything warm. with a sigh I turned away and dried my hand with a towel before muttering about going to get cleaned up.  
  
******  
  
    Tyrshan was gazing out the window overlooking the coastside of Eversong. The moon was casting an eerie silver light across the room. I crept from the washroom, a towel wrapped tightly around me. When he turned to look at me, I froze. He moved towards me until he was at arm's length. His eyes rested at the crook of my neck where I knew was one of my scars I had obtained in my life. He then reached out and gently traced his index finger over it, meeting my gaze.  
  
    "Gargoyle during the Invasion of Quel'thalas," I answered. Tyrshan's eyes drifted to a scar on my right shoulder, before he could trace it like he did with the first, I took hold of his hand "Ghoul gave me that one while in Northrend with Kael'thas and Illidan's forces," I motioned his attention to a scar I had on my left forearm "Scarlet Crusader's attempted amputation in New Havenshire," Tyrshan met my gaze once more and wore an expression of empathy. I knew how he felt about the scar on his face. I can only imagine how he felt when he learned I had more than one. All linked to the Scourge in one way or another. I placed my freehand on my abdomen and sighed "Frostmourne, right when I lost my soul to the Scourge..." I murmured. I let go of Tyrshan's hand and turned away so I could get dressed. When tyrshan took hold of my arm, I knew he saw the final scars.  
  
    "Banshee while defending the gates of Silvermoon for the final assault," I looked at him over my shoulder "We can discuss this more after I'm more decent," I said as I tugged at my arm. Tyrshan seemed reluctant, but he released my arm.  
  
******  
  
    I laid awake in Tyrshan's arms. Instead of looking at the ceiling or listening to the ocean and the crickets, I studied his face. His eyelids twitched at every intake of breath. at each exhale, his lips twitched. on occasion he snored softly. despite not being able to sleep, I adjusted myself to a more comfortable position and closed my eyes. I hope for sleep, but after the events of today, I've come to realize that I would only be plague by nightmares. I've decided that sleep is no longer a want of mine. That would be a heavy toll on Tyrshan. He would risk his well being for mine. The well being of a corpse. I may not be worthy for anything he can offer, but he was worthy for me. As I feigned sleep, Tyrshan cradled me close, his lips going subconsciously to my forehead. For the first time in a long time, I started to feel warmth. Maybe I was truly worthy for Tyrshan's love.  
  
  
******  
  
Tyrshan was in utter bliss in the morning. I watched as he latched every buckle in his greaves before pulling on his thick brown shirt, tucking the tails as best as he could in his armor. He gathered up his boots and moved to sit beside me, a kind smile on his face as he proceeded to put his boots on. I looked to my hands in my lap as I began to feel a strange sensation in my chest that made me feel sick. Tyrshan must have sensed my discomfort, for he moved to kneel down in front of me, his hands taking up mine.  
  
"Is something bothering you?" he asked as his thumbs caressed my hands "You've been acting strangely since you've gotten up," Tyrshan's worry was evident in his face. I sighed and gripped his hands, looking at him in the eye "I feel strange Tyrshan," I said "First I was able to sleep after thirteen years, second is that I don't feel cold anymore, and third, I have a strange feeling in my chest and it is making me feel sick..." I took one of Tyrshan's hands and placed it on my chest.  
  
He looked at me after several moments of silence and smiled gently, moving to sit next to me as he took up my hands once again, "That strange feeling was your heart beating, Elren," Tyrshan said "I don't know what happened, but I'd say your body is waking up after a long winter slumber," Tyrshan caressed my face which caused the feeling that Tyrshan labled as my heart beat, quicken. Was it true? Was I starting to feel alive after all these years? I didn't know what to feel. It's been so long since I could express any emotion other than sadness and anger. I felt Tyrshan brush something away on my cheek. I realized that I had started to cry. Strange how it didn't freeze like my tears always did. Tyrshan pulled me into an embrace in which I melted into, my face pushed to the crook of his neck. I felt so alive. The fact that all my doubts, worries, and anger held me at a stasis of me thinking I was nothing more than a corpse, kept me from believing that I was actually alive. To think I had said that I would sleep in my grave the day my unlife began was a lie. I started to feel warmth after thirteen years of self-torment. I feel alive.  
  
 _'You see? Aren't you glad you stayed?'_  My inner voice said. I smiled for the first time in ages. I was alive, I had found my resurrection, his name is Tyrshan.


End file.
